Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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