I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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