No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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