This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
