My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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