i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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