i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
