she woke up with a sticky ear
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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