I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
