Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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