i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
