I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Randomize
