those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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