did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
