Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
