Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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