You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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