You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize