He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize