Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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