and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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