This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
