I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
