i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
