Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
