I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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