i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
