fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Buhtt sex?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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