So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I need a beard to bite.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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