Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
