But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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