So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
