Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
