My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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