i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
