how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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