Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
