You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
