"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
