bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
