No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
