he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
