just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
