So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
