You're completely useless in the revolution.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
