Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize