and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you win again, gameday.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just high enough for therapy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
