Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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