Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
