thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
