My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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