Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
