i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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