That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
