Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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