Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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