i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
is it fun? or sober?
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