the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
