using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
