I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize