fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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