All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
