so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
And then he peed in my hair
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize