I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
