Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
