I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
