well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I would fuck him just for his dog
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
