You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
