he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
