I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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